Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Introducing the Bad Note Millstones Of Jazz!

New! Available for the first time! No jazz collection is complete without

The Millstones Of Jazz

from Bad Note

In June of 2011, renowned jazz producer/engineer/label owner Ahmet Von Gilder died after a long and distinguished career in the recording industry.

While poking around in the basement of his estate, executor Chet Kincaid discovered a treasure-trove of rare master tapes—tapes whose existence had heretofore only been rumored or vehemently denied.

Contained in this stunning archive are the most ill conceived, badly executed, wrong-headed and embarrassing projects ever agreed to by the legends of jazz. 

And though many critics would rather see these tapes destroyed than unleashed upon an unsuspecting public, Kincaid believes they are of such historic significance that it would be a shame if nobody made a bundle off them. 

Introducing a new jazz record label—Bad Note—and an impotent—er, important new series of cockeyed classics: The Bad Note Millstones Of Jazz.

Initial Releases

BD0001 Snap, Crackle, Satchmo! The Kellogg’s Sessions Of Louis Armstrong—1964

By the early sixties, gravelly-voiced Louis Armstrong had become a lovable American treasure. And like most American treasures, he had decided to cash in on his appeal with commercial endorsements. These audio tracks from TV spots in which Satchmo appeared include “Tony The Tiger Rag,” “My Horn Wants Kellogg’s Corn Flakes,” and the title tune, “Snap, Crackle, Satchmo!” Also included is “Sugar Crisp Swing,” Armstrong’s duet with Sugar Bear—who, it turns out, really was  Bing Crosby. 

BD0002 Bad’Trane: The Incomprehensible Recordings Of John Coltrane—1957

Upon hearing these tapes, Kincaid believed he had stumbled upon unreleased late-sixties tracks by the indefatigable tenor master: the screeching, honking, atonal noise recalled the painful avant-garde experiments of Om and Ascension. But the date on the recording log reveals the stunning truth: the ideas behind Coltrane’s harrowing mid-sixties experiments were first conceived during his heroin withdrawal in 1957.

BD0003 Alto Madness! Ornette Coleman And Eric Dolphy Play The Looney Tunes Of Carl Stalling—1961

It has long been rumored that the Warner Brothers cartoon scores of Carl Stalling were a pivotal influence on the avant-garde jazz musicians of the sixties. With this release, the rumors are confirmed.

BDOOO4 Miles’ Bile: The Really Blue Sessions Of Miles Davis—1965-1984

This collection of asides, instructions and commentaries from “The Man With The Horn” shows how he coaxed groundbreaking results from his musicians, producers, engineers, agents and wives during his recording sessions. Included are the tracks, “Lay Off The Reverb, Teo, Or I’ll Kick Your M*th*r-f*ck*n’ Ass,” “I Don’t Care If Jesus Wrote It, My Name Goes On The G*dd*mn*d Credits,” “Wynton Couldn’t Hold My Jockstrap,” “Cicely? Tell The B*tch I Ain’t Here,” and “I Want To Die With My Hands Around A White Man’s Throat.”

BD0005  Duke’s Flukes: Duke Ellington’s Duets With Jerry Lee Lewis—1958

By 1958, the devil-worship rhythms of rock’n’roll had conquered the music industry, rendering the big band sound a quaint anachronism. In a desperate attempt to get hep, “The Duke” met “The Killer” for this clandestine 1958 Memphis recording session. The elegance of Ellington and the brimstone of Jerry Lee were combustible—so why didn’t Von Gilder build a bonfire with the master tapes and spare us such barnburners as “Great Balls Of Ellington” and “The Duke Of Earl?”

BD0006  Impressions Of A Sex Machine: The Bill Evans Trio Plays The Music Of James Brown—1976

God knows whose brilliant idea it was to combine the introspective pianism of Bill Evans with the polyrhythmic priapism of “The Godfather”—but thank heavens they did! Rarely has a woman’s beauty been celebrated as devotionally as on Evans’ version of “Hot Pants (She Got To Use What She Got To Get What She Wants),” and we’re sure Evans is breaking into a “Cold Sweat” in his grave over the take of that tune released here. Special guest Maceo Parker was to have taken these tracks to the bridge and dropped them off, but luckily, Von Gilder volunteered to dispose of them himself.